I am relatively new to Facebook. My wife encouraged me to join to help me reconnect with all those people that I have lost track off throughout my life. I was afraid that this might blow my cover in the Witness Protection program. But after she explained that I can “reject” anyone that I am trying to avoid, I agreed to start Facebooking. So, I created a profile. I did a few searches and added some friends. It was mostly people that were already friends of my wife. I then did some more searches and found some old mission friends. I sent them friend requests and felt like I was somewhat cool again because I was now on Facebook.
My friends accepted my request and I felt really cool. Then I started getting messages from all these people about not updating my status. So, I went to my wife and discovered that you are supposed to put your mood on Facebook throughout the day. Sometimes happy, sad, even hungry will work. OK. So, now I have added statusing my feelings on Facebook to my schedule.
Then someone poked me. At first I got a little upset. I looked around for a way to get them back. I couldn't find how to poke them. So, I started looking for ways to kick or hit them. Still nothing. Then I went to my wife again. Apparently, poking is a good thing. Imagine my surprise.
It has been a couple of months now and I feel pretty confident now in my Facebooking. However, I am totally getting stressed out now. People have started contacting me asking me if I was in their physics class in high school. I don’t even remember high school, let alone some random person in one of my classes. But, at the same time, I don’t want to offend. Maybe they were in my class. So, now I am getting a Facebook ulcer.
Then the worst thing possible happened. An old girlfriend requested to be my friend. I didn’t particularly want to be friends with her, but then again I didn’t want to be rude and get a bad rating. I don’t even know if Facebook has ratings. They do it on ebay. Anyway, I dis cussed this with my wife and apparently, there are pre-established Facebook rules. You can be friends with a girl as long as you have never kissed her. So, I quickly said no thanks to the ex-girlfriend.
However, I still have my ulcer. See, I am not sure if I knew a guy named Steve in my high school physics class. And I can’t remember if I kissed him. As a matter of fact, I am not even sure that I took physics in high school. This is turning out to be way too much stress.
Happy New Year 2016
4 weeks ago