So, the holidays are over. It was a great Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/New Year. I enjoyed some time off with the family and really dreaded going back to work today. I was going over my 150+ emails and looking at my calendar for the week when I started thinking about when the next holiday with a day off is. I looked and found no more in January. None in February. Nope again in March. Nada in April. Finally, at the very end of May is Memorial Day.
What??? That is nearly five months away. I didn’t do that well in school, but I think that there are only twelve months in a year. How can I have a five month dry spell with no holidays? That is almost half a year! Who was the wacko that setup these holidays?
So, I have decided to campaign to make a few changes, and add a few holidays. First, Valentine’s Day should be a day off. Us men always get in trouble for not doing “enough” on this day. Well duh. We are working and aren’t able to focus our attention appropriately to express how much we truly love our wives. If we had a day off, then wow. Can you just imagine the wonderful gifts and experiences we would plan for our wives. No more dog house, just lots of lovin! (Guys you can thank me later for this)
Second, we need a holiday in March. I know that we have St. Patrick’s Day, but that has got to go. Wear green get a kiss, don’t get a pinch. That only sounds like a good holiday if you are drunk. I don’t drink, so it has to go. In it’s place, Uranus Day on March 13th. A day dedicated to the discovery of the planet Uranus. It would be a day off from work so we could all stay up late and look at the universe through our telescopes. This holiday would help children become more interested in space and science, maybe we could even catch back up with the Japanese. But most importantly, we could all say “Happy Uranus”! And that just makes me giggle.
Finally, we need a good holiday in April. The first day of April is April Fool’s Day and that can stay, but we need a good stay home from work holiday. I suggest, April 22nd – Earth Day. I personally have no real tree hugging type feelings in me, but I would if I didn’t have to go to work on that day. Heck, I would even promise to not litter on that day if it meant no work. No driving to work would also mean gas saved. That is good for Mother Earth, right?
So, now that you know, you are encouraged to email your Senator and ask for him/her to bring up legislation to bail out our messed up calendar. It’s not like they have anything else to work on.