My wife and her friends recently had a white elephant Christmas party. They all got together at one of their houses for the party. Everyone brought a dessert or a side dish to share. They talked and had giggly fun time over dinner. Then they exchanged their white elephant gifts. Some examples of the gifts was a fly swatter, a calendar about how crappy life is, and a couple of very nice stockings. After the exchange they had some more giggly discussions. Then the party got really started. They all took a personality test, in an effort to understand their selves and each other better. All during the test they were giggling, laughing, and probably crying as they shared their experiences. My wife didn’t get home from this party until nearly 3am. I have to admit I was a little jealous hearing all the fun she had. However, I know that there is no way in hell that me and my friends would enjoy anything even close to this type of party.
So, I started thinking about what us men would do for our version of a white elephant Christmas party. Here is what I came up with.
The party would be held at no one’s house. It would have to be hosted in a restaurant/sports bar. None of us would be required to bring any food, just money to pay. It would all be on separate tickets and there would be no sharing of appetizers. “You get what you pay for and pay for what you get”, as my Grandpa used to always say.
There would have to be some game on the TV that we could all be watching. There would be no giggling. If our team was winning then there would be a lot of high fiving. Otherwise we would all be yelling at the TV.
After the game we would do one of two things. Either we would go see a guy movie, something with guns and explosions and car chases, or we would go shooting ourselves. No gift exchange because we all know that none of us would take the time to pick out a gift. So, our wives would end up picking out the gift and then it would be all girly and totally embarrass us to exchange.
The night would end without any personality tests and definitely without any sharing of personal feelings. There might be some more high fives, chest bumps, or the manly one arm hug with a quick back pat but that would be it. And we absolutely would be home way before 3am because we don’t want to get in trouble with the wife.
Speaking of the wife, I love you Laura and you are the best!