Cilantro Ranch Dressing
7 months ago
Thursday, October 1, 2009
When Rape isn't Rape
Thank the heavens for Whoopi Goldberg. For years we have wondered as a country when a rape isn't a rape. Oh the conferences that have been held on this discussion. So many arguements as well. So, believe that this discussion is whey the cold war first started. Now, Whoopi has cleared it up for us. She said "I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else, but I don't believe it was rape-rape." So, if you are a rich french guy that directs movies and you get a 13 year old drunk and drug her up with a rufi then it isn't rape-rape. It's something else but not rape-rape. Oh the relief. So, all you pedophiles out their just need to get a passport from France and start making movies. Always remember to use drugs and alcohol and no problem. Thanks Whoopi.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Brandoncare
I did a little research on healthcare and this is what I found. The references are found at the end.
Brandon’s Health Care Plan
(aka Brandoncare)
Medicare costs were $440 billion, Medicaid costs were $181 billion, and SCHIP costs were $6 billion in 2007. That is a total of $627 billion spent in 2007. That cost covered 83 million people. So, per person that is a cost of about $7554 per person covered.
According to the census there are 46 million people uninsured in America. However, 9.6 million of those people are not citizens. So, I say the number of uninsured Americans is 36 million. A 2003 study by Blue Cross showed that 14 million people qualified for coverage by one of the federal programs, but had never signed up. So, I say the number goes to 22 million.
If nothing changed then to cover those 22 million Americans it would cost about $166 billion. That would represent a 26.5% increase in spending for federal medical programs. Again, this is based on numbers from 2007 and accepting that the costs remain the same.
A part of me wonders if we couldn’t outsource those 22 million Americans medical coverage. I wonder if we could go to the top 3 insurance companies and have them bid for the contract. Could we get them to put in bids and get the cost down to $5000-$6000 per person? I bet we could. If the average healthcare premium for a family of 4 is $13,000, that comes to $3250 per person per year. If an insurance company can make money with $3250 per year couldn’t they make money off of $5000 per year per person?
So, if we got the bids to $5000 it would cost about $110 billion. About a 17.5% increase in spending. There are an estimated 304 million people in America. So, it would cost each American about $362 per year. My family would be paying nearly $2500 per year and that is bad. Can we trim $110 billion out of the budget to cover this so no cost is passed to the tax payer? Again, I would say yes. I bet the President and Congress could cut that much in spending in a day and still have time for a round of golf and a massage.
Heck, I even wonder if we couldn’t outsource SCHIP, Medicare, and Medicaid. Could we get that cost below $7554 per person? How much would that save just on the cost? How much could we save by not having all of the government employees and infrastructure that are needed to administer those programs? Could that save us $110 billion or more?
So, this is the Brandon Health Care Plan. I am sending it to my Senators and Representatives. It is simple, covers everyone, saves money, puts more money into the private sector, and decreases the size of government. Everyone is happy. So, let’s do it!
References
The Census Bureau reports that the number of people lacking health insurance rose to 46.3 million in 2008.
-http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090910/ap_on_re_us/us_census_uninsured
Overall, the number of people covered by government programs rose to 83 million in 2007, up from 80.3 million in 2006. The number of people on Medicaid, the government health insurance program for low-income residents, increased to 39.6 million from 38.3 million.
-http://articles.latimes.com/2008/aug/27/business/fi-census27
# of people with Medicare 65 & older or under 65 & disabled 44.8 million projected for 2008
43.1 million - 2006 ACTUAL
-http://www.medicareadvocacy.org/FAQ_QuickStats.htm
For starters, the statistic does not mean that there are "46 million uninsured Americans," as the New York Times reported in a recent story on health care, and as is echoed throughout the media. Just a quick look inside the Census Bureau data shows that 9.7 million of the uninsured are not citizens of the United States. -http://spectator.org/archives/2009/03/20/the-myth-of-the-46-million
Another problem with citing the 46-million figure is that many of those who are identified as uninsured are actually eligible for existing government programs but simply never bothered to enroll. In 2003, a BlueCross BlueShield Association study estimated that about 14 million of the uninsured were eligible for Medicaid and SCHIP. These people would be signed up for government insurance if they ever made it to the emergency room.
-http://spectator.org/archives/2009/03/20/the-myth-of-the-46-million
When all of these factors are put together, the 2003 BlueCross BlueShield study determined that 8.2 million Americans are actually without coverage for the long haul, because they are too poor to purchase health care but earn too much to qualify for government assistance. Even being without insurance still doesn't mean they won't have access to care, because federal law forbids hospitals from denying treatment to patients who show up at the emergency rooms.
-http://spectator.org/archives/2009/03/20/the-myth-of-the-46-million
Total Medicare spending reached $440 billion for fiscal year 2007
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medicare_(United_States)
New data from the Treasury Department show that federal outlays for Medicaid were lower in fiscal year 2006 than in 2005 even in nominal dollars (i.e., even without adjusting for inflation). Federal Medicaid expenditures were $180.6 billion in 2006, as compared to $181.7 billion in 2007
-http://centeronbudget.org/cms/index.cfm?fa=view&id=824
SCHIP costs in 2007 $6.3 billion
-http://www.allhealth.org/BriefingMaterials/SCHIPFinancialStructure-534.pdf
The average employer-sponsored premium for a family of four costs close to $13,000 a year
-http://www.nchc.org/facts/cost.shtml
Brandon’s Health Care Plan
(aka Brandoncare)
Medicare costs were $440 billion, Medicaid costs were $181 billion, and SCHIP costs were $6 billion in 2007. That is a total of $627 billion spent in 2007. That cost covered 83 million people. So, per person that is a cost of about $7554 per person covered.
According to the census there are 46 million people uninsured in America. However, 9.6 million of those people are not citizens. So, I say the number of uninsured Americans is 36 million. A 2003 study by Blue Cross showed that 14 million people qualified for coverage by one of the federal programs, but had never signed up. So, I say the number goes to 22 million.
If nothing changed then to cover those 22 million Americans it would cost about $166 billion. That would represent a 26.5% increase in spending for federal medical programs. Again, this is based on numbers from 2007 and accepting that the costs remain the same.
A part of me wonders if we couldn’t outsource those 22 million Americans medical coverage. I wonder if we could go to the top 3 insurance companies and have them bid for the contract. Could we get them to put in bids and get the cost down to $5000-$6000 per person? I bet we could. If the average healthcare premium for a family of 4 is $13,000, that comes to $3250 per person per year. If an insurance company can make money with $3250 per year couldn’t they make money off of $5000 per year per person?
So, if we got the bids to $5000 it would cost about $110 billion. About a 17.5% increase in spending. There are an estimated 304 million people in America. So, it would cost each American about $362 per year. My family would be paying nearly $2500 per year and that is bad. Can we trim $110 billion out of the budget to cover this so no cost is passed to the tax payer? Again, I would say yes. I bet the President and Congress could cut that much in spending in a day and still have time for a round of golf and a massage.
Heck, I even wonder if we couldn’t outsource SCHIP, Medicare, and Medicaid. Could we get that cost below $7554 per person? How much would that save just on the cost? How much could we save by not having all of the government employees and infrastructure that are needed to administer those programs? Could that save us $110 billion or more?
So, this is the Brandon Health Care Plan. I am sending it to my Senators and Representatives. It is simple, covers everyone, saves money, puts more money into the private sector, and decreases the size of government. Everyone is happy. So, let’s do it!
References
The Census Bureau reports that the number of people lacking health insurance rose to 46.3 million in 2008.
-http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090910/ap_on_re_us/us_census_uninsured
Overall, the number of people covered by government programs rose to 83 million in 2007, up from 80.3 million in 2006. The number of people on Medicaid, the government health insurance program for low-income residents, increased to 39.6 million from 38.3 million.
-http://articles.latimes.com/2008/aug/27/business/fi-census27
# of people with Medicare 65 & older or under 65 & disabled 44.8 million projected for 2008
43.1 million - 2006 ACTUAL
-http://www.medicareadvocacy.org/FAQ_QuickStats.htm
For starters, the statistic does not mean that there are "46 million uninsured Americans," as the New York Times reported in a recent story on health care, and as is echoed throughout the media. Just a quick look inside the Census Bureau data shows that 9.7 million of the uninsured are not citizens of the United States. -http://spectator.org/archives/2009/03/20/the-myth-of-the-46-million
Another problem with citing the 46-million figure is that many of those who are identified as uninsured are actually eligible for existing government programs but simply never bothered to enroll. In 2003, a BlueCross BlueShield Association study estimated that about 14 million of the uninsured were eligible for Medicaid and SCHIP. These people would be signed up for government insurance if they ever made it to the emergency room.
-http://spectator.org/archives/2009/03/20/the-myth-of-the-46-million
When all of these factors are put together, the 2003 BlueCross BlueShield study determined that 8.2 million Americans are actually without coverage for the long haul, because they are too poor to purchase health care but earn too much to qualify for government assistance. Even being without insurance still doesn't mean they won't have access to care, because federal law forbids hospitals from denying treatment to patients who show up at the emergency rooms.
-http://spectator.org/archives/2009/03/20/the-myth-of-the-46-million
Total Medicare spending reached $440 billion for fiscal year 2007
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medicare_(United_States)
New data from the Treasury Department show that federal outlays for Medicaid were lower in fiscal year 2006 than in 2005 even in nominal dollars (i.e., even without adjusting for inflation). Federal Medicaid expenditures were $180.6 billion in 2006, as compared to $181.7 billion in 2007
-http://centeronbudget.org/cms/index.cfm?fa=view&id=824
SCHIP costs in 2007 $6.3 billion
-http://www.allhealth.org/BriefingMaterials/SCHIPFinancialStructure-534.pdf
The average employer-sponsored premium for a family of four costs close to $13,000 a year
-http://www.nchc.org/facts/cost.shtml
Monday, September 14, 2009
Pliers can make a lovely faucet handle
A friend a work emailed me a few nice pictures titled "OK, it's fixed already!" Below are some of the pictures.
The scary part is that the picture of the sink with the pliers reminded me of my tub. We lost one of the handles so I quickly found a pair of pliers and ta da it was fixed. Then I got this email. Well, I have now purchased a new set of handles and will be installing them soon!
The scary part is that the picture of the sink with the pliers reminded me of my tub. We lost one of the handles so I quickly found a pair of pliers and ta da it was fixed. Then I got this email. Well, I have now purchased a new set of handles and will be installing them soon!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Guys Night
Wow, how I love having a guys night. Getting all wild and doing totally awesome guy stuff. We get all rowdy and stay up so late. Tonight was no exception. We partied until we could party no more. We started with an awesome meal of leftovers. Don't be jealous! Then we put the little ones to bed and really started partying. We watched three episodes of the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. This party was the bomb. Then we really started raising the roof when we brought out the drumsticks. I hope no one tells my wife. Oh, how we partied! You know it is a good guys night when everyone is messed up and at least one of us winds up with his underwear on backwards. I may have to call in sick to work to recover.
Skunk Hair
OK, I have never pretended to be up on the latest fashions and trends. But, there is one now that I totally do not understand. As I child, and even today if I am being honest, I enjoyed watching cartoons. One of my favorites were the cartoons about Pepé Le Pew the skunk.
In every episode this female black cat accidentally gets a white stripe down it’s back. Then almost immediately Pepé would come bouncing by, see her, and instantly fall in love. She would try the rest of the show to hide from him or convince him that she was a cat. He didn’t care. He was in love. Finally, never the end of the cartoon she would accept her fate and start liking Pepé.
You might think that I went off on a tangent, but I didn’t. See the trend I am concerned with is the Pepé hairdo. This hairdo is created by having part of the hair bleached white and leaving the under portion of the hair a dark black. See examples below.
Now tell me that you don’t see the resemblance! I never thought in my lifetime that we would see homosexual marriages legal, an African American President, and a hairdo that pays tribute to Pepé Le Pew. What a wonderful country we live in!
In every episode this female black cat accidentally gets a white stripe down it’s back. Then almost immediately Pepé would come bouncing by, see her, and instantly fall in love. She would try the rest of the show to hide from him or convince him that she was a cat. He didn’t care. He was in love. Finally, never the end of the cartoon she would accept her fate and start liking Pepé.
You might think that I went off on a tangent, but I didn’t. See the trend I am concerned with is the Pepé hairdo. This hairdo is created by having part of the hair bleached white and leaving the under portion of the hair a dark black. See examples below.
Now tell me that you don’t see the resemblance! I never thought in my lifetime that we would see homosexual marriages legal, an African American President, and a hairdo that pays tribute to Pepé Le Pew. What a wonderful country we live in!
I Will Miss My Grandpa
Sorry I have not posted in a little while. See about a week and half ago my Grandfather passed away. He was 79 years old at the time. He had fought and survived lung cancer about 10 years ago. He had also survived a major heart attack a few years back. He was a good man that served his church, his community, and his family.
As I attended his funeral in Arkansas and visited with family members, I was reminded of many stories about his life. I hope you will indulge me by allowing me to share a few here.
The first story is also my oldest memory. I have a horrible memory thanks to a playing chicken on my bike with a dump truck. Anyway, when I was just 3 or 4 I went fishing with my Dad and Grandpa. I was too young to enjoy the quiet and peace of waiting for a fish to bite. So, I took out my Grandpa’s tackle box and started throwing bobbers into the water. I remember that it was so cool. They floated no matter how hard I threw them into the water. After two or three of the throws my Grandpa told me to stop. I quickly threw another one. He then told me that if I threw one more into the water he would throw me in. So, of course I threw another one. I remember that the bobber had barely hit the water when I was in the air. I hit the water and remember all of the lily pads floating around me. I was never in danger and he quickly pulled me out, but I never tested him again. If he told me something I knew he meant it. Being a father now, I try to instill the same level of obedience in my children. Before you call DCFS, I have never thrown any of them in the water.
The next story was when my Father was in high school. My Dad and his older Brother where both large, even in high school. My Dad went on to serve for many years in the United States Marine Corp. His Brother served in Vietnam as a Navy Seal. So, I would never ever think of crossing either of them. However, my Grandpa did just that after one of their football games. He had watched the game and felt like they weren’t hustling enough. So, as soon as they got home he told them they needed to work harder. So, they needed to run down to the Piggly Wiggly and get a piece of trash out of the dumpster. Then they could run home. My Dad thought he would be smart and save his self some trouble. So, he took off real quick and as soon as he was out of site of his brother he grabbed some trash on the road and hid in a bush. He then relaxed and waited for his brother to return. As soon as he saw his brother coming back he took off from the bush. He ran as fast as he could, to look like he was really tired, back home. As soon as he got to the door he saw my Grandpa standing there with a telescope. Nothing was said. My Father turned around and this time ran all the way to the grocery store.
I love my Grandpa very much and will miss him until we meet again.
As I attended his funeral in Arkansas and visited with family members, I was reminded of many stories about his life. I hope you will indulge me by allowing me to share a few here.
The first story is also my oldest memory. I have a horrible memory thanks to a playing chicken on my bike with a dump truck. Anyway, when I was just 3 or 4 I went fishing with my Dad and Grandpa. I was too young to enjoy the quiet and peace of waiting for a fish to bite. So, I took out my Grandpa’s tackle box and started throwing bobbers into the water. I remember that it was so cool. They floated no matter how hard I threw them into the water. After two or three of the throws my Grandpa told me to stop. I quickly threw another one. He then told me that if I threw one more into the water he would throw me in. So, of course I threw another one. I remember that the bobber had barely hit the water when I was in the air. I hit the water and remember all of the lily pads floating around me. I was never in danger and he quickly pulled me out, but I never tested him again. If he told me something I knew he meant it. Being a father now, I try to instill the same level of obedience in my children. Before you call DCFS, I have never thrown any of them in the water.
The next story was when my Father was in high school. My Dad and his older Brother where both large, even in high school. My Dad went on to serve for many years in the United States Marine Corp. His Brother served in Vietnam as a Navy Seal. So, I would never ever think of crossing either of them. However, my Grandpa did just that after one of their football games. He had watched the game and felt like they weren’t hustling enough. So, as soon as they got home he told them they needed to work harder. So, they needed to run down to the Piggly Wiggly and get a piece of trash out of the dumpster. Then they could run home. My Dad thought he would be smart and save his self some trouble. So, he took off real quick and as soon as he was out of site of his brother he grabbed some trash on the road and hid in a bush. He then relaxed and waited for his brother to return. As soon as he saw his brother coming back he took off from the bush. He ran as fast as he could, to look like he was really tired, back home. As soon as he got to the door he saw my Grandpa standing there with a telescope. Nothing was said. My Father turned around and this time ran all the way to the grocery store.
I love my Grandpa very much and will miss him until we meet again.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Facebook Ulcer
I am relatively new to Facebook. My wife encouraged me to join to help me reconnect with all those people that I have lost track off throughout my life. I was afraid that this might blow my cover in the Witness Protection program. But after she explained that I can “reject” anyone that I am trying to avoid, I agreed to start Facebooking. So, I created a profile. I did a few searches and added some friends. It was mostly people that were already friends of my wife. I then did some more searches and found some old mission friends. I sent them friend requests and felt like I was somewhat cool again because I was now on Facebook.
My friends accepted my request and I felt really cool. Then I started getting messages from all these people about not updating my status. So, I went to my wife and discovered that you are supposed to put your mood on Facebook throughout the day. Sometimes happy, sad, even hungry will work. OK. So, now I have added statusing my feelings on Facebook to my schedule.
Then someone poked me. At first I got a little upset. I looked around for a way to get them back. I couldn't find how to poke them. So, I started looking for ways to kick or hit them. Still nothing. Then I went to my wife again. Apparently, poking is a good thing. Imagine my surprise.
It has been a couple of months now and I feel pretty confident now in my Facebooking. However, I am totally getting stressed out now. People have started contacting me asking me if I was in their physics class in high school. I don’t even remember high school, let alone some random person in one of my classes. But, at the same time, I don’t want to offend. Maybe they were in my class. So, now I am getting a Facebook ulcer.
Then the worst thing possible happened. An old girlfriend requested to be my friend. I didn’t particularly want to be friends with her, but then again I didn’t want to be rude and get a bad rating. I don’t even know if Facebook has ratings. They do it on ebay. Anyway, I dis cussed this with my wife and apparently, there are pre-established Facebook rules. You can be friends with a girl as long as you have never kissed her. So, I quickly said no thanks to the ex-girlfriend.
However, I still have my ulcer. See, I am not sure if I knew a guy named Steve in my high school physics class. And I can’t remember if I kissed him. As a matter of fact, I am not even sure that I took physics in high school. This is turning out to be way too much stress.
My friends accepted my request and I felt really cool. Then I started getting messages from all these people about not updating my status. So, I went to my wife and discovered that you are supposed to put your mood on Facebook throughout the day. Sometimes happy, sad, even hungry will work. OK. So, now I have added statusing my feelings on Facebook to my schedule.
Then someone poked me. At first I got a little upset. I looked around for a way to get them back. I couldn't find how to poke them. So, I started looking for ways to kick or hit them. Still nothing. Then I went to my wife again. Apparently, poking is a good thing. Imagine my surprise.
It has been a couple of months now and I feel pretty confident now in my Facebooking. However, I am totally getting stressed out now. People have started contacting me asking me if I was in their physics class in high school. I don’t even remember high school, let alone some random person in one of my classes. But, at the same time, I don’t want to offend. Maybe they were in my class. So, now I am getting a Facebook ulcer.
Then the worst thing possible happened. An old girlfriend requested to be my friend. I didn’t particularly want to be friends with her, but then again I didn’t want to be rude and get a bad rating. I don’t even know if Facebook has ratings. They do it on ebay. Anyway, I dis cussed this with my wife and apparently, there are pre-established Facebook rules. You can be friends with a girl as long as you have never kissed her. So, I quickly said no thanks to the ex-girlfriend.
However, I still have my ulcer. See, I am not sure if I knew a guy named Steve in my high school physics class. And I can’t remember if I kissed him. As a matter of fact, I am not even sure that I took physics in high school. This is turning out to be way too much stress.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I'm Proud To Be An American...
I know that independence day is not for a few months. However, I am feeling a bit more patriotic than usual. It must be the upcoming inauguration and all the media coverage. Like the story about how they only reserved 5000 port-o-potties and someone is threatening to sue because they have bladder control issues. Mind you, I am not making fun of bladder control issues. My family is notorious for losing control while laughing. I also hold the record for using more bathrooms than anyone else in the states of West Virginia and Virginia because I couldn’t hold it while tracting on my mission.
Anyway, back to the patriotic stuff. I was thinking of why I am proud to be an American and came up with a few items that I would like to share.
1. I am proud that we have the biggest, baddest military in the world. Being the son of a United States Marine, I get great pride in knowing that we could wipe any country off the planet. Not that we would, because we are a civilized nation and we don’t roll like that. But, it is kind of cool knowing that we could.
2. I am proud of the fact that our professional baseball teams are so awesome that we can have the “World Series” and only include American teams. I know we have the Toronto Blue Jays. But come on, isn’t Canada just our northern little brother.
3. I am proud to have been born in the country that started Taco Bell. Not only has this restaurant proven to be a successful means of maintaining Mexican heritage, but it has given us such wonderful inventions like, the Mexi Melt, Nachos Bell Grande, and the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch. May God bless Taco Bell and may her doors always remain open, at least until 2am at most locations.
4. Finally, I am proud to live in a country that has an entire industry related to toilet paper. I mean we have Cottonelle (with those cute little puppies), Quilted Northern (made by little ladies quilting all day), cheap single-ply (which my company believes in), two-ply, three-ply, and my absolute favorite, Charmin “Aloe and E Lotion Free” toilet paper.
Before you get totally disgusted in me, stop and think about this. We live in a country with so much freedom, that it even extends to our freedom to choose our means of personal hygiene. I hope we will all consider these things as we swear in a new president next week and remember to always vote for those candidates that will protect our freedoms, even the freedom to pick our toilet paper.
God Bless America and those geniuses at Charmin!
Anyway, back to the patriotic stuff. I was thinking of why I am proud to be an American and came up with a few items that I would like to share.
1. I am proud that we have the biggest, baddest military in the world. Being the son of a United States Marine, I get great pride in knowing that we could wipe any country off the planet. Not that we would, because we are a civilized nation and we don’t roll like that. But, it is kind of cool knowing that we could.
2. I am proud of the fact that our professional baseball teams are so awesome that we can have the “World Series” and only include American teams. I know we have the Toronto Blue Jays. But come on, isn’t Canada just our northern little brother.
3. I am proud to have been born in the country that started Taco Bell. Not only has this restaurant proven to be a successful means of maintaining Mexican heritage, but it has given us such wonderful inventions like, the Mexi Melt, Nachos Bell Grande, and the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch. May God bless Taco Bell and may her doors always remain open, at least until 2am at most locations.
4. Finally, I am proud to live in a country that has an entire industry related to toilet paper. I mean we have Cottonelle (with those cute little puppies), Quilted Northern (made by little ladies quilting all day), cheap single-ply (which my company believes in), two-ply, three-ply, and my absolute favorite, Charmin “Aloe and E Lotion Free” toilet paper.
Before you get totally disgusted in me, stop and think about this. We live in a country with so much freedom, that it even extends to our freedom to choose our means of personal hygiene. I hope we will all consider these things as we swear in a new president next week and remember to always vote for those candidates that will protect our freedoms, even the freedom to pick our toilet paper.
God Bless America and those geniuses at Charmin!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Happy Holidays
So, the holidays are over. It was a great Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/New Year. I enjoyed some time off with the family and really dreaded going back to work today. I was going over my 150+ emails and looking at my calendar for the week when I started thinking about when the next holiday with a day off is. I looked and found no more in January. None in February. Nope again in March. Nada in April. Finally, at the very end of May is Memorial Day.
What??? That is nearly five months away. I didn’t do that well in school, but I think that there are only twelve months in a year. How can I have a five month dry spell with no holidays? That is almost half a year! Who was the wacko that setup these holidays?
So, I have decided to campaign to make a few changes, and add a few holidays. First, Valentine’s Day should be a day off. Us men always get in trouble for not doing “enough” on this day. Well duh. We are working and aren’t able to focus our attention appropriately to express how much we truly love our wives. If we had a day off, then wow. Can you just imagine the wonderful gifts and experiences we would plan for our wives. No more dog house, just lots of lovin! (Guys you can thank me later for this)
Second, we need a holiday in March. I know that we have St. Patrick’s Day, but that has got to go. Wear green get a kiss, don’t get a pinch. That only sounds like a good holiday if you are drunk. I don’t drink, so it has to go. In it’s place, Uranus Day on March 13th. A day dedicated to the discovery of the planet Uranus. It would be a day off from work so we could all stay up late and look at the universe through our telescopes. This holiday would help children become more interested in space and science, maybe we could even catch back up with the Japanese. But most importantly, we could all say “Happy Uranus”! And that just makes me giggle.
Finally, we need a good holiday in April. The first day of April is April Fool’s Day and that can stay, but we need a good stay home from work holiday. I suggest, April 22nd – Earth Day. I personally have no real tree hugging type feelings in me, but I would if I didn’t have to go to work on that day. Heck, I would even promise to not litter on that day if it meant no work. No driving to work would also mean gas saved. That is good for Mother Earth, right?
So, now that you know, you are encouraged to email your Senator and ask for him/her to bring up legislation to bail out our messed up calendar. It’s not like they have anything else to work on.
What??? That is nearly five months away. I didn’t do that well in school, but I think that there are only twelve months in a year. How can I have a five month dry spell with no holidays? That is almost half a year! Who was the wacko that setup these holidays?
So, I have decided to campaign to make a few changes, and add a few holidays. First, Valentine’s Day should be a day off. Us men always get in trouble for not doing “enough” on this day. Well duh. We are working and aren’t able to focus our attention appropriately to express how much we truly love our wives. If we had a day off, then wow. Can you just imagine the wonderful gifts and experiences we would plan for our wives. No more dog house, just lots of lovin! (Guys you can thank me later for this)
Second, we need a holiday in March. I know that we have St. Patrick’s Day, but that has got to go. Wear green get a kiss, don’t get a pinch. That only sounds like a good holiday if you are drunk. I don’t drink, so it has to go. In it’s place, Uranus Day on March 13th. A day dedicated to the discovery of the planet Uranus. It would be a day off from work so we could all stay up late and look at the universe through our telescopes. This holiday would help children become more interested in space and science, maybe we could even catch back up with the Japanese. But most importantly, we could all say “Happy Uranus”! And that just makes me giggle.
Finally, we need a good holiday in April. The first day of April is April Fool’s Day and that can stay, but we need a good stay home from work holiday. I suggest, April 22nd – Earth Day. I personally have no real tree hugging type feelings in me, but I would if I didn’t have to go to work on that day. Heck, I would even promise to not litter on that day if it meant no work. No driving to work would also mean gas saved. That is good for Mother Earth, right?
So, now that you know, you are encouraged to email your Senator and ask for him/her to bring up legislation to bail out our messed up calendar. It’s not like they have anything else to work on.
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