Tuesday, September 23, 2008

When did football practice turn into the View?

A few days ago I was at my son's football practice. In the past there were other dads yelling "go get him" or "hit him hard". You know the very manly type stuff. We discussed monster trucks and man stuff like killing small animals. Right or wrong I enjoyed watching the practice and participating in the man talk. However, at this particular practice there were no dads, except me. All the moms had come and what a difference it made.

Not that I was trying to listen in, but I couldn't help it. It was just like on the View. All these moms were trying to out do the others and it got so bad that they were all trying to talk above the others. A few interesting subjects came up and suprisingly I learned a few things.

First, just as parents are told to "pick their battles" with their children. One of these women had decided that this was also true with her husband. You could see the light bulbs coming on in all their heads. They all got so excited. "Oh, you are so right", "Wow, I had never thought of that", "Yes men are such idiots". I made that last one up, but I know that they were thinking it.

Then they tried to out do each other in the "my husband is the worst". I started hearing things like, "my husband...", "well let me give you a scenario". It even extended to their poor mothers. "Oh that's nothing, my mom..." I just wanted to stand up and be the local Dr. Phil, "I want you to get excited about your lives."

Then they had to all start discussing their diagnosis. I have to say that I turned my head at this point to listen a little better. I quitly declared one mom the winner when she said, "Well I was diagnosed with youth parental defiance. However, as an adult it turned out that I am just Bipolar". Wow, what a relief.

The best thing I learned from listening in on the "Football View" came from this mom that was totally over dressed for a football practice. Her young son's shoes cost more than my entire outfit. And you could just tell that she had some enhancements done, not that I was looking, but they kind of stood out. Anyway, she said, and I quote,"Life got better when I stopped worrying about what other people think". Truer words had never been spoken. I am sure that she only wore the high heels to a football practice because they are comfortable, not to look good. She drove the beautiful new Escalade only because it gets great gas mileage. Again, I felt like i was channeling Dr. Phil. I wanted to say, "You're only lonely if you're not there for you." Then we could have all hugged and been part of the great sister hood of football moms, and one dad.


Laura said...

Yeah, I have some football practice stories----you meet the most interesting people. Like the lady with her IPOD, singing loudly, out of tune, with all kids present "I LOVE COCAINE, I LOVE COCAINE" or another mother (of 8-9 year olds) as we are all chatting keeps using the word SH--. Constantly. Kids are around, not mine, so I didn't say anything, but I am thinking, a little self-awareness wouldn't hurt ANYTHING. Many of them could use a Dr. in their life!!! The people watching/listening factor is a bit fabulous secretly. Just don't bring your other kids with you.

Laura said...

Oh, I just love those Dr. Philisms. SO funny and perfect to be used at the right time and place. You crack me up!

Anonymous said...

Ack. That reminds me of the post on Seriously So Blessed the other day (here's a link) where she got a truckload of birthday presents including a wall sign that said "The most important things in life aren't things."

Krista said...

You never knew how educational football practice could be for the parents, huh? It always reconfirmed my decision that T.J. would never go to the other players houses without me! I could just see you hugging all those football Moms - trying to heal them of their woes!