Friday, October 10, 2008

Nectar of the gods (or an ode to Mac and Cheese)

Confession time. I love Mac and cheese.

I have my entire life. As a teenager, I would come home from school and make myself a batch. Then I would go up to my room and eat it while I watched Looney Toons. Yes, that is another confession; I love to watch cartoons. Anyway, since I was a teenager I often left the dirty bowl in my room until my Mom would smell it and come get it. I would then get a lecture and promise never to do it again. This became such a ritual that a couple of days before I left on my mission, I purposely left a bowl in my closet with a note to my Mom telling her how much I loved and appreciated her.

Well, now I am a lot older and a little more mature. So, today as I was eating hotdogs and Mac and cheese with my children while watching Dragon tales I started wondering if I was killing myself with this food. So, I did a little research and found out that I was wrong. This food is good for you.

Did you know that a single serving of Mac and Cheese has 15% of your daily requirement of Vitamin A? I usually eat a box myself, which is 3 servings. So, I am getting 45% of my daily requirement of Vitamin A. That rocks!

As I continued to read the Nutrition facts on the box I continued to realize why my body craves this food. A single serving contains 15% of your daily calcium requirement and 10% of your iron requirement. I am getting 45% of my calcium and 30% of my iron requirement. Anyone that knows me will immediately understand why I am so muscular. It is all that Iron!

At this point of reading the side of the box, I was feeling like a really good dad providing all my children with these vitamins. Then I started reading the ingredients. I couldn't contain my excitement. It contains wheat flour. That has to be good for your body. It also contains vitamins B2, B1, and sodium triplyphosphate.

Next, I moved my research to the Internet. Because, it contains all truth. I found some interesting things. Did you know that many scholars actually believe that the tree that Adam and Eve weren't supposed to eat from was a Mac & Cheese tree? It makes sense. They couldn't resist.

I also found that 85% of inmates on death row choose Mac & Cheese as part of their last meal. It would be my choice too. I would probably want the expensive Velveeta kind since for such a special occasion.

According to, Mac & Cheese was invented by Thomas Jefferson. So, not only is it healthy and tasty, it is downright patriotic to eat it. I think we will start saying the pledge of allegiance each time we eat it.

One last note about Mac & Cheese. While Martha Stewart was writing her Original Cookbook she struggled with putting only the most important and best recipes in the book. Guess what? She included a recipe for Mac & Cheese. See the link below.

For that alone, I believe that Pres Bush should pardon her and let the poor convicted felon vote again. God Bless You Martha.

In conclusion, I will end my musings with a simple Shakespearean sonnet.

I love my mac and cheese
I so want to kiss the box
It makes me say please
I would eat it in dirty socks

I love the cheese in the bowl
I would eat it every day
It is a food that fills my soul
Mac and cheese what more can I say

I will eat it all my life
Mac and cheese is so much fun
I love it like my wife
It is even better then a honey bun

Mac and cheese it is so true
I will forever love you


Laura said...

I only can hope that you love me as much as your mac-n-cheese. You make is so easy to cook your favorite meal. I love you!!!

Laura said...

Since you were saying today you didn't get many comments, I decided to change that for you.

Laura said...

You is the man.

Laura said...

I love you more than all the mac-n-cheese in all the universe. (I bet the aliens have it too.)

Laura said...

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?

Robin said...

You soud start working for the Dr Seuss book company. Maybe Scholastics has a position for you. I will never feel bad feeding my kids mac n cheese ever again.

Also, call your mom and tell her sorry for always leaving your crusty old mac n cheese bowls lying around.

Zina said...

I just wrote a long comment but through an error on my part I permanently lost it all. So suffice it to say that I enjoyed this ode to Mac and Cheese.

Angie said...

I think Laura is your biggest fan. . .at least that's what I gather from the neighboring comments. Anyhow, I am thrilled someone finally gave Mac and Cheese the honor it deserves!