Football is the Devil

Am I a bad parent? Of course from my previous postings on the wonders of Mac and Cheese, you know I am not. But, just in the past couple of days I have decided that this Saturday at my son’s football game I will be cheering for the other team.

Before you start giving me a glare let me explain. At first I was so excited that my oldest was playing tackle football. See, I was always a skinny little boy. I “played” football one year as a child and my greatest achievement was getting a penalty called against the other team when one of their players hit me in the back and knocked the wind out of me. So, when my 90 lbs eight year old wanted to play I started seeing visions of his greatness. I could see him scoring all of the touchdowns, sacking the quarter back (this is a good thing for anyone that doesn’t follow football), and catching every winning pass at every game. Finally, my dreams of football stardom would be fulfilled. I was totally living through my son. Again, before you start glaring at me all you moms need to look at your daughters dressed in their tutus going to ballet practice and tell me that you aren’t living through them too.

So, we went to the football supply shed and sporting good store and got him all his gear. Everyone was saying how impressed they were at how big he was at only eight years old. I tried to be humble and say things like, “Yes he is big for his age”. What I wanted to say was, “Darn right this boy is huge and I sure hope he doesn’t crush your puny little child.”

Next, practices started. Quickly my dream started fading. Not because of my son’s performance, for his age I am very proud of his football skills. My dreams faded because it took so much stupid time. His practices were 5 days a week for two to two and a half hours. Then games started. We cut down to practice three times a week, but then we spent four hours every Saturday trying to watch him play while trying to keep the rest of the clan from running on the field and stealing the ball. Which any of them could do easily because they all have awesome football skills, even my 2 yr old daughter can kick some butt in football.

Anyway, between three practices a week a one game a week I am getting a little burned out on football. If my sons team wins this Saturday then they get to go the playoffs. My son was so excited. He told me, "if we win then we get to go to the playoffs and practice under the lights". What? Lights? So, instead of practice having to end when it gets dark they can practice until midnight if the coach wants. I don't think so.

So, this Saturday I will be cheering for the other team, quietly.